Boynton Beach, Florida. A 56-year-old man by the name of Kurt Jenkins is facing charges of exposure of his s*xual organs, lewd and lascivious exhibition and resisting a law enforcement officer without violence charges. Why? Well, he decided to go for a drive one day. Naked. That said, he did have something on. A weird male s*x toy. Attached to his genitals, the contraption had wires poking out from it.

Jenkins went about his drive, acting bizarrely (obviously). He pulled in at some drive-thrus, even getting out and exposing himself. But he made a big mistake when he showed off his Terminator junk to a bunch of children. Jenkins isn’t entirely sure what happened next but within a short space of time he was in police custody and pretty badly beaten.

He resisted arrest, so police had to use reasonable force to get him into custody. But they didn’t turn his face into a blueberry pie. Did the kids beat him up? Maybe someone tipped off one of the kids’ parents or older brothers? All that’s known for certain is that his face was a mess…

‘It takes all sorts’. That’s what they say, don’t they? Whoever ‘they’ are. We’re imagining that ‘they’ never really considered the case of the guy who wired up his Johnson and waggled it front of a bunch of kids while driving…