Reading, Pennsylvania. Talk about the tears of a clown… A 37 year-old children’s entertainer that goes by the name of ‘Chalky the Clown’ is recovering in Reading Hospital & Medical Center after a brutal attack. Chalky – real name Leroy Leeter – suffered the vicious beating after someone tipped off a recently-formed vigilante group that ‘a clown was on the loose‘.

Going by the name ‘Ain’t Clowning Around’, the mob formed last week in response to the spate of bizarre ‘creepy clown’ sightings and the rumors that they may be linked to kidnappings and child molestation. An anonymous tweet made tipping off Chalky’s performance made its way to Ain’t Clowning Around and within an hour they arrived at the child’s birthday party where the clown was performing to the delight of his young crowd.

Within minutes, the rag-tag gang of clown haters had jumped Chalky and beat him senseless. At one point, his trousers were set alight and the birthday boy’s parents had to push the clown into their swimming pool. This was after an earlier attempt to douse the flames failed, when a nearby bucket of water turned out to be full of confetti.

One of the men responsible, local man Kris Tarrent, has since admitted leading the vigilante group and attacking Leeter. He’s since been bailed and has apologized for the incident.

“We formed Ain’t Clowning Around to try and stop these weirdo clown types that take kids and all that business”, Tarrent told The Reading Eagle. “We don’t hate normal clowns. We know they ain’t all Stephen King’s It-type fellas. Some of them bring joy and balloon animals and funny little flowers that squirt water to kiddies’ lives.”

“But y’all can’t deny that some of them are odd,” he went on. “Creepy. And people like us are needed to keep these red-nosed whack-jobs away from our kids. They should all pile back into their tiny little car and get the Hell out of town. Damn clowns…”

Chalky is doing well and is expected to leave later this week. He won’t be pressing charges as apparently he ‘understands’ the public’s concerns. What a nice clown, eh?